Honesty is the best policy. Simple as that. And the truth hurts. But don't dish it if you can't take it. That was my philosophy and I experienced it first hand. I don't think I regret it. I mean. I do. I regret the events that led up to it and I regret the way I handled it and I regret my stupidity, because that's really the best word for it. But I learned a much needed lesson today.
Everyone learns differently. And this is certainly not my preferred method. I think today's events did me more harm than good. For now. But down the road, I know this is good for me. Because someone finally smacked some sense into me and forced me to see things a different way. I'm not thrilled that I had to be smacked (not literally, just carrying on with the analogy), but at least I'm facing the right direction now. I have to trust that this is a step in God's shaping me. I know I'm going to feel crappy about this. Probably for a very long time. But the end of the journey will make all of this feel miniscule in comparison to the reward.
Today also made me realize that I'm just not handling things well. I'm not. It's time that I go back to counseling. It did wonders for me last semester, and I haven't been back since May. I think the difference in my person is evident from miles and miles away. I want to be back on the right track, and maybe this is one of the many steps I'll have to take. I'm not going to say that I'm happy. But I'm grateful. Because I will be happy again, and that is a promise.
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