How to Manage Your Gremlins

I went to my first anxiety group today. Funny. No group. Just me and the therapist. Whoops. But that's okay, God has a reason for everything. Honestly I like it a lot. And I like that, as other people are expected to be there, it doesn't have to be so focused on me. There's still conversation and discussion, and I'm free to speak up about personal experiences, but this isn't just more therapy. It's a chance for me to learn more about my brain. And I enjoy that! I'm aware that this makes for a busy schedule and that these copays aren't so fun for my wallet. But I honestly don't care. I'm taking steps towards a better mental health and a better me. I know God is in control and He is placing me here for a reason. Anxiety and depression are not fun and they're not easy, but I'm grateful to God for making me the way He did, as well as for giving me resources to help me cope, people to stand by me, and endless love and support to carry me through.

Sidenote, can we talk about the fact that my last video has over 300 views?! What?!? It's only because RWBY is in the title. Someone even subscribed to me and I don't have the heart to tell him this is not a fandom channel. WHOOPS.

Carress

My counselor told me about a GREAT way to cope with stress called the Carress method. I can't exactly type the whole thing out right now. It's kinda long. But the basic premise is do 10-15 minutes of something that helps you express your feelings, than 10-15 minutes of something that boosts endorphins, and then 10-15 minutes of something super relaxing. It sounds beautiful, honestly, and I cannot wait to use it. It will be nice to have a plan for when my anxiety acts up.

Side note, John went to the gym with me today. He worked me to no end. Which like thank you. But also ughhh. Whhyyyyy. It's for the best. It will help me. I just have no motivation lol. Also no stamina. But I guess that comes with time and lots of effort. He's a good friend.

Also, heart to heart with my lovely roomie Jess. Always a good way to spend the evening.

Puppy Love

Reason 132: Therapy dogs for us to pet and play with and hug and love! They're all so cute and cuddly and I just can't! So much happiness.

Also, hooray for belated birthday wishes from the one person who you want to hear them from :)

CUTE PUPPY! :3

Laugh In the Face Of Danger

Reason 108: That was AWESOME. I thoroughly enjoyed that. I told our story, in its most basic form I suppose. But I was still able to really get it all off my chest. People loved it. They were really into it! And they thought it was cool. And they thought it was relatable (lolwut). Oh, and it was 18 minutes long (LOUL). But the best part? After all that, I laughed. I laughed at so many points telling this story. Like, it's crazy. This is something that, at the time, broke me. I was miserable, and seriously found no good outlook on it. But now I can look back on it and say "look how silly I was. Look how big a deal I made it. Look at everything I went through we went through. And look where we are now" :)

Everytime.

Body & Soul

Reason 103: My Group Process class. I told you it's one big therapy session, right? Today we did Self-Revelatory performances. Basically, tell a story that has impacted your life. I don't go until Tuesday, so we got to watch 3 of the 6 performances today. Obviously, I can't tell you what they were. Confidentiality, understandably. But it truly touched my heart. I'm blessed to be in a class such as this. One story completely related to me. It spoke of a decision, and choosing desire versus what you know is best. It sort of makes me reevaluate my relationship with God, and I'm glad I could take  step back. Another, I had no connection to at all. It was such a strong story, and it weighed heavy in my heart. But it's like I saw a new side of this person. And I got a good few tears out of it, which was very cleansing. I'm glad I took this class. Honestly, truly. Can't wait until Tuesday, I'll do my best to tell our story well.

This song always does a good job of cleansing my attitude. Beautiful lyrics, great melody, and all the love for Jared Leto. 30 Seconds to Mars does good work haha