Letters From the Past

It's Saturday! My plans got cancelled so I spent most of today in PJs doing personal stuff for me. Cleaning. Laundry. Church lesson stuff. Lots of Netflix haha. And man, sleeping in. So so so necessary. While I was cleaning, I found some old stuff. In a 2010 math binder (different from the giant pile of notes from middle school), I saw a small letter from Jason Guerrero. He essentially was checking in on me because I seemed sad or upset, and he let me know that he was always available if I needed to talk. It's such a kind sentiment. One I needed today. And one I'm happy to know is still valid - no expiration date. Speaking of date, I also found two letters from Xabiel. They were love letters. The only love letters I've ever gotten in my whole life. Throwback to junior year. You know, I was really lucky to have him. Even with the amazing life changes he's gone through, I know we wouldn't have worked out. But I'm just so lucky to have him as a friend now. And back then, when I needed to know someone cared about me and saw real value in me, he was absolutely there for me. It's so cute, his spelling is off and he ABSOLUTELY wrote stream of consciousness (which I do, too, but I at least try to sound eloquent haha). And I feel like that makes it so much more genuine and real. Like, we were 16, I didn't need all the floral nonsense. That probably would've made it cringey to be honest haha. I can look at it and just know I was special to him, as he was special to me. What a lovely, warm memory.

Happy anniversary to Hannah and Nick. I wish you every happiness.
And to Eric and Elena?! I thought they were still fighting about whether it was the 10th or the 14th BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE CELEBRATING THIS WEEKEND so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it today so that my bases are covered ;) I'm so glad you found each other.

Wow, I've dated all the guys I've mentioned today. Yikes. But most of them have much more meaningful relationships with me outside of the romance. You know, the ones who bother to talk to me. Ooh Sammy, getting petty haha. But seriously, mad love to them all. I am who I am because of them. And, INCLUDING the many others that stood by my side over the years, I'm grateful I always had my boys to make me feel safe and loved.

3 Months Ago

Happy Memory Tears

For the past month, and especially the past week, I've had a lot of happy memory tears. I've been replaying memories in my mind over and over. And then, out of nowhere, a new one will pop up. And I'll cry. Because how could I forget that moment? How could I forget how much it mattered to me or how much it changed me? Some of the most beautiful things were said to me, or done with me. And I'm just go glad they are a part of me now.

I feel so stupid for spending a month so wrapped up in two short months of my life. But they were so amazing. Honestly. He can say he wasn't the best thing to ever happen to me and maybe he's right. But I don't think he will ever understand how much he has done for me. How blessed I am to have had him for two short months.

6-1-15

Moises posted lotsa pictures! They were from Opening Night & Harveys. A little while back these two events were beautiful beautiful times. And I was so happy to be a part of them. And now we get to relive those wonderful times. Thank you Moises!

OK

I finally had time to go through all my clothes and get my closet organized. It's still crazy packed. I own way too many things, but I honestly wear more than I thought I did. I was able to get rid of a good handful of shirts, but I realized a few things. The first is that I am quite privileged to have all those items of clothing, especially when many only have one or two. I have plenty of shirts and not a lot of money, so I should just be grateful for what I have. RT merch can wait. The second is that you can find stories in the strangest places. I kept my Loiederman gym shirt, right next to my Upward Bound tee. Somewhere down the row I had my Music Man shirt from middle school, with the full cast on the back. And how can anyone forget the Music Department shirt for Hershey Park? That was the year Mr. Guerra spelled Loiederman wrong (he forgot the "e"). Such good times. The third was that I loved those shirts, but I never wear them. And I certainly will always have the memories, but it's okay to let them go. They were fun. And I am grateful. But I don't need those pieces of fabric to remind me. The fourth, and final one, was that despite this realization, I will not be willing to give up my S.T.A.G.E shirts for a very very long time. That was my home for four years, after all. I was more than ready to give up my McDaniel Hairspray shirt, but not my Einstein one. Something about the designs Aaron Fellows created just feels far too important to ever give up. On a lighter note, I have a few hand me downs for my Little now! Hopefully I can give them to her soon. They're nothing too magnificent, but the girl should have more than just one set of letters :3

Madeon's Adventure album got me through this chore

Have I ever mentioned Madeon?

He's my age. Actually he was born the same day as my niece! But in 1994.

He's a DJ from France. The only person I know of that is a bigger Daft Punk fan than I am.

He's husband #4. Ok? OK.

Habit Forming Is Hard

So guess what I told myself I'd do every day in 2015? Write in this blog again.
Guess what I completely forgot to do. Write in this blog again. It's January 2nd. Proud of you, Sammy.

But forreal. I haven't written in ages. I barely do anymore. It's like I've started to take fun, exciting things for granted and thought they weren't worthy of celebration.

LIFE is worthy of celebration

Here's what I should've written yesterday:

I told myself that as soon as I got home from McDaniel for winter break, I would go on the elliptical for 30 minutes every day, and do 9 sets of 8 crunches. I have not missed a single day. Today I replaced the crunches with a 30 day challenge that's supposed to help your abs. Dunno if it'll work, but I'll hopefully get good at all the stuff! I was also on the elliptical for 35 minutes, and intend to keep that up until January 16, when I will make it 40. Baby steps.

I finished The First Phone Call From Heaven by Mitch Albom today. It was brilliant. I love him so much. There's a reason he's my favorite author. His way with words is incredible. And his books are great for everyone but especially people of faith.

I started the New Year with my sister and my niece. How absolutely lovely.

In 2014, I wrote a poem people ended up really liking. I went to the UK and saw some of the most amazing and breathtaking sights I've ever seen in my life. I met my hero, Carrie Hope Fletcher. Jared Leto won an Oscar. Daft Punk won several Grammys. I had the honor of co-stage managing in Alpha Psi Omega with an incredible person for an wonderful group. I fell deeper in love with Rooster Teeth as they released awesome content including a new season of my favorite show. I dropped my Communication Major and adopted the minor instead. I finally. Finally. FINALLY. Escaped a seven year unhealthy relationship. I was re-elected as Stage Manager. My niece turned one! I went to 4 different concerts, including the 1975 (easily my favorite concert), 30 Seconds to Mars and Anberlin (two of my favorite bands). 1975 was also where I fell in love with Bad Suns. Germany won the World Cup. Spent some quality time with some quality church friends, and strengthened those bonds immensely. Enjoyed Summer for the first time in SEVERAL years. I became a Peer Mentor and worked with people that continuously inspired me. I roomed with my best friend. I won a couple giveaways. I led a class and got loads of compliments. I started a youtube channel. 

Wow guys. Wow.

Children Are Our Future

Just got a text from miss Amanda G (currently a junior at AEHS, and a good friend of mine from the theatre department).

Amanda: Hey Sammy. This is Amanda Gamage. This probably seems really out of the blue, but I just wanted to thank you for being so passionate about theatre. Most especially Einstein theatre. Just thank you for being my friend, and for all the advice and memories I got to share with you. Now that I've had two years to reflect - it was so significant. So just thank you so much.

Me: BABYDOLL. lol I love that you introduced yourself as if your number ever left my phone. I adore you. And you will so many amazing things in your life. Thank you for you kind words. And thank you for making my high school experience as amazing as it was. I met kids at McDaniel who hate their HS theatre programs because everyone was rude and stuck up and the program wasn't good enough to earn respect. And that's so not our story. Never forget, STAGE is love, always.

Amanda: SAMMY!!! I just got back from the end of the year party. And I was crying when they were showing clips from Drood and Drowsy. It's so hard to comprehend that my stage career is almost over, and just - WAAAAAH. HOLY CRAP HOW DOES ONE EVEN BEGIN TO HANDLE THIS???

Me: Hahaha I know dear. It shattered me. Both those shows mean more to me than most people will ever understand. But you just gotta move forward and make them proud by being an even better version of yourself and succeeding in what you love. Also, visiting often helps. Plus, someone like you can find friends and a home wherever you go, so there's more love to spread!


A much needed amazing way to end today. Sometimes I don't mind being the clingy one who lives in the past. 'Cause some people are totally worth it.

Is It Spring Yet?

Welp. Spring Break has ended. And I had a wonderful time. I went to AEHS with Charlotte & Margie, and got to see my 2014 babies in their last performance (my heart is a little shattered). I spent lots of time with Karla & Cristina, who I can never get enough of. I saw Jonathan and he spoiled me like crazy on Friday, just so he had company on his "bad" diet day haha. Coldstone, Potbelly's, and Ben & Jerry's. THAT was fun hahaha.  I've been watching Red vs Blue again, and it just gives me feelings. Biggest project: Rearranging my room. We've got family coming in April and my mom wants them to stay in my room. So she wants to add another bed. Meaning I had to get rid of an entire armoire and 2 storage units and move basically my life into a shelf. The living room was COVERED with everything I own. It was fun to go through all my stuff though. To see what I've kept that matters to me. And man, I knew I had an obsessive personality but some of the stuff I wrote in middle school/ early high school was... yikes. It's nice to look back though. It's nice to remember how we all were. The answer is idiots. We were all idiots. Sometimes I miss it though <3 Now I'm back on campus and the workload is NOT letting up. But hey, this is the path I chose. And so, let's give it all we got!

I blame Kimberly

England & Wales

A Brief Overview of the Greatest Trip of my Life

• While on the plane, I can't sleep. Merp. Listen to music and watch movies.
• As we fly over London, "The City" by The 1975 plays. Perfection.
• WE SAW MARIAH and got her for a solid 4 days. I love that girl so much.
• Jetlag is real. Toilets are weird. England is expensive. There are sheep everywhere. The grass is so flipping green. Every inch of this country is beautiful.
• Stonehenge. It's so cool. And so mysterious. I loved it. But I for one believe rocks are made to be sat upon. No one seemed to agree with me.
• BATH (hometown of Charlie McDonnell haha fangirl mode on)
• The Francis Hotel in Bath is LEGIT. Best hotel of the whole trip. Stay there.
• Cathedral of Bath
• Sick on Day 2, way to go Sammy!
• Roman Baths. Healing waters man. And so many Roman ruins!!!
• Glastonbury Abbey aka the largest Abbey in Europe before it fell to ruin, thank you Henry and the Austen family. The walls still have some color. The building was massive. And we found out tons about the monks that lived there. Carvings are a motif in literally every building we entered. It also may or may not be the burial place of King Arthur
• Wells Cathedral. Probably my favorite building we entered the whole trip. SO absolutely stunning. Beautiful stained glass, giant chapel, hilarious carvings, unique scissor arches, awesome organ, wonderful choir room, THE COOLEST CLOCK I'VE EVER SEEN, and even a beautiful street where the members of the choir live.
• The Tor. Didn't actually get to climb to the Tor, just climbed the hill. But that view <3
• Peter Pan Panto. Hilarious. And so many references. I died!
• History tour of Bath. Such a great city.
• CARDIFF
• Cardiff Castle. Ruined building, with only maybe 3 rooms still intact. An impressive war time tunnel, spooky and fun! And a tower with 100 steps. Great climb, but not the best view thanks to the rainy weather.
• Jack & the Beanstalk Panto OMG. Best panto ever. The fairy was HILARIOUS. Great music choices. Set as legit. That giant amazed me. Great dancers. Precious children. And I WANT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE COSTUMES. Also, the villain? Fleshcreep? Ugh. New dream role haha
• Millenium Stadium. So big! So cool! It made me want to watch Rugby.
• Doctor Who Experience. LEGIT.  We drove the Tardis and got caught by Daleks and walked through a cemetery filled with Walking Angels and UGH so cool. Matt Smith pretty much MADE the whole thing (recordings, not actual Matt Smith). Museum filled with old sets and props and costumes and suits. And a fantastic gift shop.
• STRATFORD
• Royal Shakespeare Company. Tour of the theatre as well as an acting work shop HOLY CRAP I want to work there. I wish. The costumes and stage and set and lighting instruments and sound system and fly system and wig/make-up professionals and I just cannot deal. I want it to badly.
• Tour of Stratford upon Avon. Saw basically all the major places in Shakespeare's life, including the church he's buried in. Everything is so old and so pretty! Saw Anne Hathaway's cottage. Everything in England is so small! All the doors and beds are my size! The last part of Anne Hathaway's cottage had a little bulletin board where couples would write the stories of how they fell in love. So many of them were of people who did theatre together :)
• Warwick Castle. The princess tower was only for kids ages 3-8. Heart. BROKEN. But they had a bunch of other awesome towers and tunnels and attractions and gift shops and bird shows. There were peacocks just walking around all over the grounds like it was nothing. It was more like they turned an old castle into a theme park. I wish there was a bit more history, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
• If you ever get the chance to see Wendy & Peter Pan do it. It's not at all what I thought it would be. It's so dark and different and good. Whether or not you liked it, you cannot walk out of that auditorium without truly feeling something. It was pretty mind-boggling. I could rant about that show for the rest of my life, truly I could.
• OXFORD
• Oxford University College tour. Meh. Oxford. To big. Too fancy. Too cold! And a lot like Hogwarts.
• Lunch at the pub where C.S.Lewis &Tolkein went to every Tuesday!
• ENTER LONDON. Look for famous people everywhere like the fangirls we are haha
• First time on a double decker bus, touring London. We walk on the London Bridge We see the London Eye, Tower Bridge, Big Ben, Fleet Street (there was actually a barber shop there omg), Leister Square, Piccadilly Circus, Covenant Garden, Totem Court, Trafalgar Square, Kings Cross, just omg everything. 
• Buckingham Palace. SO BIG AND PRETTY AND HORSES AND GUARDS AND AH! Cristina will be there some day ^_^ haha
• Saw One Man Two Governors. I don't know if I could ever sit through it again, but I definitely laughed until my whole body hurt and had a blast of a time.
• British museum. The history. So impressive. So many cultures that just leave you in absolute awe. And some of those exhibits. WTF England. "Hey that trip to Rome was fun!" "Yeah, but what should we take as a souvenir?" "Hmm, good question. I dunno, how about THIS TEMPLE?!"
• Royal Theatre on Drury Lane. Oldest theatre in West End. Over 500 ghosts. So. Pretty. So impressive. And they have a room for when the "King" visits. Except, there is no King, so now the Queen & the Princes use it. Also apparently Michael Jackson used it.
• National Gallery. You're gonna love the art.
• EFFING BACKSTAGE PASS INTO LES MISERABLES. I STOOD ON THAT STAGE. I could've cried. Seriously. Looking into that audience from the turntable was so overwhelming. I couldn't believe it. Also, we were accompanied by Anton (Enjolras) who I know form his youtube channel so while all the girls were smitten and in love I was like LOL dibs, as well as Rob (Marius) who is just the most precious baby. All thanks to our friend Cait who knows Scott Allen and got us the hook-up. Seriously, I can never thank her enough.
• Les Mis was Les Mis. But I loved it all. I so enjoyed watching everyone perform. All the songs are stuck in my head. I want a recording of specifically that performance (except I want the real Fantine cause we got the understudy and she wasn't that great). Also. Umm. Carrie was phenomonal.
• She gets her own bullet. Oh my Lord. I love her. I'm so happy for her. There she was. Carrie Hope Fletcher (don't act like you don't know, I talk about her on this blog all the time).  Performing her soul out. She does this everyday. She lives her dream everyday. She lives MY DREAM everyday. I couldn't be more proud. And I was so scared that I wouldn't like her. That I'd finally see her perform and think "wow, she can't act". But she was easily one of the best performers on that stage. And that's not just me being biased, the people I asked in my class agreed with me. Ugh. I love her.
• I met her. I met Carrie Hope Fletcher. I ACTUALLY. MET HER. And I it wasn't much to her. I mean it was because she loves meeting her Hopefuls and knowing she's made a difference. But to me. It was EVERYTHING. Best part of the whole trip. I seriously could not have been happier or more excited. I almost cried afterwards. She's smaller than I thought she'd be! And she's just so sweet. I'm so lucky I love such a wonderful person.
• RIDING THE TUBE! AHHH! I'm such a tourist.
• Original site of The Globe theatre and a tour of the new one. Ah! So cool. And authentic!
• Tate Modern. All the art.
• Millenium Bridge! Important for reasons!
• St. Paul's. Entry was 16 pounds. Umm no not about that life. That's too many American dollars to enter a church. But I'm so bitter and regret that decision because I adore churches, really truly.
• Guild Hall. QUITE the impressive building. With sides for "Ayes" and "Noes". We also saw more art! And ruins of the Roman Amphitheater, cool cool cool!
• Fortune's Fool at the Old Vic Theatre. Meh. Russian Comedy.
• Now I'm home. I'm back home. I'm in the USA. It's not nearly as pretty here. But I'm in my own bed and I have my mommy to make me healthy again and I get to see my sister and my niece and eat homecooked meals and not worry about which way to look when crossing the road because PEOPLE DRIVE ON THE RIGHT SIDE and I'm home and it's wonderful.

Thank you. Thank you, Lord, for all of these incredible memories. I wouldn't trade them for anything. And now we beg for money because I have to buy 12 textbooks for next semester and I'm kinda broke.

Alumni Cabaret

Sidenote: I met Karina! She seems lovely. I didn't really get to talk to her. Wanted to, but I had like 20,000 people to hug and when we went to IHOP it just wasn't happening. Love my boys, but Lord knows I can only handle them one at a time. I'm easy to pick on, and when it's in a mob my patience just. Whoops. Anyway, she's a darling.

Main note: THE CABARET WAS FABULOUS. Storm & Jason sang together and I got all kinds of feels. Eric Teran a song from one of my favorite musicals (In the Heights). Rebecca Bradley & Mary Holmcrans were their usual fabulous selves. And Rory picked a song that surprised the heck out of me until I saw her perform it. She may not be the most agreeable person but you cannot deny it, that girl owns the stage. And then there was a mob of people who graduated before I did. And it just. OMG. There was SOUL. And BELTING. And HEARTACHE. And FUN. And TALENT. Like, I'm glad I didn't perform. I'm pretty good, but some of these people just. I'm just so proud of this school. This program. And how it's managed to be such a huge part of all our lives. Also, we know boys who can sing are my weakness. Tonight was just no fair, my poor little Sammy heart didn't stand a chance. ALL the swooning at Mr. Prince Charming. Ah well haha.

IHOP was also fun. The boys are a bit too much for me, but God bless every moment I spend with Charlotte. That girl is ridiculous and wonderful. Margie was so missed <3 especially during "If I Were A Rich Man" hahaha

Leaving Home in :14 hours
Leaving McDaniel in: 15.5 hours
Arriving at BWI in: 17 hours
Departing for England in: 19 hours

Shouldn't Need Anyone

This extra week on campus has been quite the experiment. I don't have a conclusion for you. But it happened. This ridiculous, annoying, fun, obnoxious, exciting, whatever week happened.

Apparently youtube got rid of most of the audio vids from Anberlin's album Cities. Which is bull. But I shall leave you with lyrics <3

You're repeating me lines that you think I wanna hear
But I don't wanna hear anymore
As if sorry is any consolation
For what it's worth, you're stringing me along
Sh sh shouldn't need anyone
Shouldn't need anyone
Just scared of being alone
But by the time you figure this out
And I'm already gone

Adelaide, Adelaide, you really had me going this time
Adelaide, Adelaide, you need to quit, quit making a scene
Adelaide, Adelaide, you really had me going this time
Adelaide, Adelaide, you need to quit, quit making a scene

You keep giving me signs that you think I wanna see
But you're nothing like you seem
Hide behind your half smile
But the truth is so undeniable
Sh sh shouldn't need anyone
Shouldn't need anyone
Just scared of being alone
But by the time you figure this out
And I'm already gone

Adelaide, Adelaide, you really had me going this time
Adelaide, Adelaide, you need to quit, quit making a scene
Adelaide, Adelaide, you really had me going this time
Adelaide, Adelaide, you need to quit, quit making a scene

Like lipstick traces on pillow cases
Some things in life are unforgettable
Like love, loss, lies and us and woh ohh
Some things in life are undeniable

Like lipstick traces on pillow cases
Some things in life are unforgettable
Like love, loss, lies and us and woh ohh
Some things in life are undeniable

Adelaide, Adelaide, you really had me going this time
Adelaide, Adelaide, you need to quit, quit making a scene
Adelaide, Adelaide, you really had me going this time
Adelaide, Adelaide, you need to quit, quit making a scene
Adelaide, Adelaide, you really had me going this time
Adelaide, Adelaide, you need to quit, quit making a scene
Adelaide, Adelaide, you really had me going this time
Adelaide, Adelaide, you need to quit, quit making a scene

Deadmau5 & Kaskade

I remember Brian Johnson wearing a scarf telling me I was going to love the art.

I remember opening a card with a bunch of names written down. These were the names of all the beautiful people that had chipped in to buy me an XBox.

I remember a video called The Legend of Fat Foot

I remember a 5th grade James Morogiello telling Jessica Garcia and myself that his brother, Evan, was really smart, so no, he did not think he was smarter than his brother.

I remember making a status about wanting happy, cheery, bubblegum pop songs, and Conor Bouton, the attractive disaster he was, commenting with a Black Metal band.

I remember everyone at Thespian Fest saying that Albert Einstein High School deserved to win for All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten. Despite being disqualified because we knew "Uh-Oh" would make us go over time, but we didn't care.

I remember my boys singing "You Have AIDS" at my 14th birthday.

I remember a pep rally where Abi Fuentes was being cheered on from the bleachers, despite us having a show to put on that night.

I remember a bunch of people coming up to me at lunch saying "OH MY GOSH YOU HAD A CRUSH ON CARLOS?" and my response being "Yeah, but I got over it 'cause he had a crush on Kimberly." And then the mob ran to question him.

I remember a mob in my 9th grade English class asking me if I had kissed Isaac in middle school. Which I hadn't. And Isaac laughing in the back of the classroom.

I remember posting videos on everyone's wall with Mirna, thinking we were hilarious and confusing everyone.

I remember walking around school as a constant trio. Stormy, Sammy, Margie.

I remember Savannah Williams. She existed. I know it.

I remember a boy named Dimitri and another one named Jonathan. I DON'T remember which one was gay.

I remember being in 5th grade and thinking I'd get in trouble for wearing a shirt that showed off my shoulders.

I remember when Jacqueline Lopez was my sunshine.

I remember a trip to the zoo with my biology class. That ended in a downpour. And a text message.

I remember comb horse.

I remember hanging out with Fabrizio at the only church retreat I ever went to and actually having fun and talking about Pokemon and just being really relaxed all day. And then I saw Hector.

I remember a message from Andrew apologizing to me because his best friend broke up with me, saying "Jon doesn't know what's good for him", even though I'd still never even met Andrew.

I remember Zeke playing a Spiderman iPhone game and shouting "buttmunchery"

I remember crying when I finally listened to the words as Aaron Fellows sang "Tomb With A View"

I remember being used so that someone could go on a semi-date with someone else. And the first someone being upset that the someone else decided not to go. And me being oblivious and being excited because I finally got to see Inception.

I remember Flair on Facebook

I remember starting a photo studio with Rose.

I remember telling Kimberly that Austin liked her back.

I remember Hector asking out Idalis. And her getting angry about it.

I remember singing Newsies in chorus.

I remember touring Ohio with Upward Bound, getting off a bus at the mall, and finding Tori Boyajian

I remember Jessica ripping up a note about who she liked, and Evan going through the trash to put the pieces back together.

I remember going to see a play at Loiederman my freshman year, and seeing my best friend, Alex Melendez, for the first time in three years.

I remember calling Connor Jackman cookie and Conor Bouton burnt cookie. And saying that Jackman looked like a snickerdoodle.

I remember making mansions where Kimberly, Rose, Shelly, and I would supposedly live. Complete with game rooms, a giant garage, our own bathrooms, and space for our pets. I DON'T remember including a kitchen.

I remember being asked if My Little Pony was a font (this was before the 2010 show came out).

I remember falling in love with blue roses. And Kyou Sohma.

I remember singing in Kimberly's room to Jump 5.

I remember sitting in a room with the Anzora kids, all singing along to the Yu-Gi-Oh GX theme.

I remember picking members of the Cheetah Girls, and deciding to perform Cinderella at a talent show. (Which never happened).

I remember Upward Bound.

I remember Albert Einstein High School.

I remember A. Mario Loiederman Middle School.

I remember Weller Road Elementary School.

What a beautiful thing. To remember.

"...but you know there's something I believe. I want to try and live my life carrying all my memories with me. And even if those memories are painful, even if they do nothing but hurt me, I want to keep them. Even those memories I sometimes wish I could forget. As long as I carry them with me, as long as I can keep holding on, then someday I'll be strong enough that those memories don't hurt me anymore, and I'll be glad that I have them. That's what I believe with all my heart. That's why all my memories are precious to me, I don't think it would be okay to forget a single one. And that's why the truth is I didn't want mama to forget about me, I didn't. What I wanted was for her to hold on, but I guess that was selfish of me." ~ Momiji, Fruits Basket

Memory Is the Key

Title is a reference to Red vs Blue, which Eric Allasi got me into.

I mentioned "All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten" to Eric. And he said "My favorite part was the mirrors". He meant the ending of the show. When we held small mirrors and reflected light into the audience. Leave it to Eric to remember my first show. After all, he sat front row at ALL my shows. This kid is seriously the greatest friend in the world.

Nose Knows

Day seven of mother nature's gift to you:
ITS THE SEVENTH DAY SO DOES THAT MEAN THAT IT'S THE LAST DAY?

If so, that's enough of a reason to celebrate. If not, keep holding on. It's all about perspective and it's almost over. At least you're not pregnant and thankfully your body is working how it's supposed to.

Here's to seven days, as opposed to 4 like every other normal woman ever. Ah well. TMI. 

Reason 354: I don't know why this is what I'm blogging about. I saw Turbo today haha shouldn't that be it? A woman came in. She had a hint of cigarettes in her smell. But it was covered with something else. Some sweet perfume, almost elegant. I swear it reminded me of my grandmother. My heart welled up and I almost got tears. It was just so out of nowhere that the feeling of missing her was almost overpowering. I don't know why, maybe because it had to do with her or maybe because I'm blessed to have my memories, or who knows why else, but that actually was the best part of my day.

I can listen to him forever

Weller Road

Reason 342: So first off, I've been texting Xabiel basically all day. Blast from the past! Which has been quite pleasant, 'cause it's like nothing changed. Also, I went to the mall today with Storm & Jason, which was fun. When we were in Target, we ran into Salvador! I don't know if you remember him. I honestly hadn't really talked to him since Elementary School, unless I was hanging out with Kimberly. (He and Kim grew up on the same block, their moms are very good friends). He's stayed very good friends with Alex, so the boys knew him fairly well. And Salvador was shopping with his mom! Oh my goodness it was like a wave of nostalgia just hit me. She saw me and recognized me immediately. She gave me a big hug and kiss, as Latina mommas do, and she went on about how I've grown and how pretty I've gotten and how surprised she is I don't have a boyfriend.

 

This summer is gonna give me such a fat head. She, of course, asked where I went to school and what I was doing, how I liked it. She even mentioned seeing pictures of Cristina because Kimberly had shown her mom! It was kinda crazy. But she was just so sweet and welcoming and it took me back to a really happy time in my life. Back when Kim and I would walk over to Salvador's house and we'd all play Mario Party together. Childhood is always so welcoming.

TBH I had thought my reason for today would be something different, but it very much was not what I had anticipated. Which isn't the best feeling. But it's okay! People change, myself included. And maybe it's not how it once was, but at the end of the day there is love and fun. And that's what matters. SPEAKING OF it's okay, I found this video last night. And I'm in love with this song now.

Go Back to High School

Reason 333: I saw an old teacher of mine at work today! She was my Spanish teacher freshman year. She actually seemed very displeased to see me. Hmm. Dunno. It made me realize that maybe she didn't want to see me there, but I was content being there. There meaning where I am with my life overall. An hour or so later, I saw an old classmate of mine! She graduated two years before me, but we took Pre-Calc together my sophomore year.  She was always loud and fun and a huge fashionista. Running into her today was crazy! She's still super sweet and has a really bright smile. She's actually taking a bunch of online courses with both MC and UMBC, which is pretty sweet. And I met her son of four months. He's such a beautiful little boy. I'm glad that she's happy with where her life is, too.

This is perfect. This will never not be perfect.

Take A Walk

Reason 311: I LOVE WALKS! But actually. This morning I went for a  power walk and quite enjoyed my time. Got lost for all of 25 seconds before my mental map rerouted and I was set. Passed by LMS and the P.E. classes haha. Found out their 8th grade dance is July 7th, we should totally crash! (As Jonathan pointed out to me today, we are old enough to chaperone). Passed by Weller Road Elementary and oh my gosh it's HUUUUGE and they're not even done rebuilding it yet... bye bye childhood. Some creepy old guy asked if he could walk with me and I straight up laughed. Like, I realize that wasn't smart, but I just kept on walking and saying "Nope!" in an obnoxiously high pitched voice. I could've died, and it was endlessly amusing. Whoops. Anyway. A squirrel was being chased by two birds which was freaking funny and also kinda violent. And I came home safe and sound. THEN this afternoon, I was with Karla and Eric and Baby Cristina, and we all went for a nice walk to the park. Seriously beautiful weather today. So nice to be out!

Stuck in my head. Such a good song. Very sad. But MAN this video!

Share the Memories in Soundwaves

Reason 229: We celebrate the end of midterms with a play! Going to see God of Carnage tonight with a BUNCH of theatre classes. How exciting! Making memories by watching good theatre with wonderful people.

Title because I'm obsessed with this song

Ex Malo Bonum

Which means "Out of bad, good".

It's also an AWESOME Anberlin song

Reason 215: Sick days suck. Little things make it better. Call the doctor, get put on hold, hold music is Les Miserables. Relax all day. Thanks to inspiration by Alex, read through my yearbook and get all emotional. Watch all the youtube videos (I swear, as soon as I finished one, a new one would be uploaded!). Listen to so much music. And watch 101 Dalmatians. This McPlague (as the student body is calling it) will NOT get the best of me!

Hooray for Youtube Covers

• Scream & Shout (thefumusic)
• When I Was Your Man (Sam Tsui)
• Thinkin' Bout You (Mike Tompkins)

And an ENTIRE list of Clara C's innovative brilliance

• Rocketeer
• Rhythm of Love (ft. Joseph Vincent)
• Thrift Shop
• Titanium
• Radioactive
• Locked Out of Heaven (ft. David Choi)
• Too Close/Toxic
• Misery Business/Hit 'Em Up
• Home (ft. Tiffany Alvord)

Blast from the Past

Reason 204: Guess who I saw at church today. Mia! Little itty bitty Mia. Hector's sister, Mia. I remember it. Being in middle school. Doing homework. Expecting a call from Hector because he called me every day back then. And when he finally calls, it's a hospital number, and I get the news that his little sister is born. I was the first person he called. Best friend status. And now  I get to see the beautiful little girl she's become. Seriously, I swear that whole family looks exactly like each other. Mia is a younger Hector with a wig, it's crazy. The whole thing just warmed my heart so.

PS: This isn't the main post because it's not a sure thing. BUT I MIGHT GO BACK TO DISNEY. ACTUALLY. THIS MIGHT BE A THING. God is good and I am blessed with incredible friends. Seriously, I am so lucky to live this life :)