1-16-16

Irene Ryans volunteering. I got the chance to sit in and watch some incredible professionals comment on the scenes and monologues performed by every single Irene Ryans finalist. It's really hard to put all my feelings into words. But I felt so honored and inspired. And I felt incredibly happy for all these kids! They worked so hard and did so well and they have such an amazing future ahead of them. Impressed doesn't begin to cover it. It was easily the best part of all of festival.

Day 16 (late): I feel...

like it's the end of festival. Tired. Empty. Winding down. A weird sense of relief.

The Right Words

There are words that you sometimes need to hear in order to make your day better. It's odd, but it really works. Sometimes, it's an I love you from a friend, or from several friends. Sometimes it's words of encouragement in the gym. Sometimes it's your teacher announcing that this week's film lab is Star Wars. Sometimes it's a friend who is going through what you are going through, even though neither of you knew before, and reminding you that your feelings are valid and you did the right thing and your feelings are valid EVEN THOUGH you already know you did the right thing, and it's not alright, but it's okay. Sometimes, the words come from Sesame Street.

Spelling Bee

So today in Musical Theatre, in order to prepare for our musical, we started watching a documentary about kids in a spelling bee. Oh my goodness, the pressure these kids have to face is cruelty. But wow was it eye opening! And it's incredibly helpful in terms of building a character. I love having source material. Always important for characters.

Seven: A Poem by Samantha Annette

Based on the composition 7 by Deadmau5

Inspired by the seven deadly sins

For those who want to match words to music

1 - 0:00

2 -  3:18 

3 - 4:30 

4 - 6:13 

5 - 9: 25 

6 - 13:40 

7 - 15:2

1

Here I lie

Outside, the breezes softly blow

Once upon a time, I ruled the world

Only now, my kingdom cries

And here I lie

Outside, the streams flow

Once upon a time, I greeted the sun

Only now, I am welcomed by the dark

But here I lie

Outside, the flowers grow

Once upon a time, I held riches

Only now, I am possessed. My life is no longer my own

So here I lie

I haven’t the strength. I haven’t the skill. And so I’ve lost my will

 2

Ask, and it shall be given you,

But I want so much more.

Coins of gold, they fill my hands.

Diamonds line my walls.

Even so, my cup is not yet

Filled.

God only knows

How much I’ve earned.

It sits right outside my grasp.

Just a little more.

Kingdoms conquered. And a princess possessed.

Lovely, entitled, desired.

Mine.

No longer a spirit free to worship the Creator, but

Owned by the man made to rule all creation.

Prisoners of misfortune should obey their masters, so should

Queens obey their Kings, yet she

Refuses and rejects.

So kind am I to let her live and stay within my walls.

Truly, if her gratitude has been hidden with her virtue, then both must be found.

Until I make her mine, I’ll have no peace.

Victory lies in her highness, should she lie with her victor.

What is mine will not be kept from me.

Extreme measures are not desired,

Yet the end will justify the means. The

Zenith shines bright over me, and I take it as God’s blessing.

3

It is here that I am safe from a war.

I did what I was told and stayed alive.

I’d be foolish if I expected more.

A drink! A toast! To saving my own hide.

I did my job. Took the money and ran.

I should count myself lucky to be here.

But I will never see my girl again.

All my former subjects will live in fear.

How could I call myself a King if I

Gave up my crown and let myself be bought?

I’ll live a coward’s life before I die.

It might be better if I just forgot.

I try, but no bottle could e’er replace

The light my daughter gave me in her smile.

That man will surely bring tears to her face

And I will drink my sorrows all the while.

My daughter, crown, and freedom won’t come back.

Let liquid fill my mind ‘til it’s gone black.

4

Coveting.

This craving.

Could this be

My desires taking over?

The demons are still screaming.

I know I haven’t the right.

I am a servant, not a hero.

The demons in my mind are playing tricks.

Telling me I am in love with the princess

Swearing I must be the one to take her back.

But I’ve always known her love could never be mine.

I am too weak to save her, yet

The constant screaming only grows more powerful.

They think I can defeat him.

They are consuming my body.

I can’t regain control.

Soon they will

Devour my

Heart.

 

5

Twelve

The princess knows her place.

The prince begins the ball.

The guests smile through their masks.

The servant waits.

Eleven

The princess enters elegantly.

The prince accompanies her.

The guests cheer for their rulers.

The servant lets the demons win.

Ten

The princess is asked to dance.

The prince gives her away.

The guests admire the mystery suitor.

The servant begins the waltz.

Nine

The princess feels like flying.

The prince grows suspicious.

The guests applaud the dancers.

The servant plans to steal his girl away.

Eight

The princess leaves her partner.

The prince motions to his guards.

The guests are unaware.

The servant is taken away.

Seven

The princess does not know.

The prince takes his turn.

The guests sway with the music.

The servant’s dagger is found.

Six

The princess does not want to dance.

The prince requests a song.

The guests listen cheerfully.

The servant’s plan is failing.

Five

The princess feels disgust.

The prince holds her too close.

The guests twirl in time.

The servant won’t last long.

Four

The princess retreats upstairs.

The prince follows behind.

The guests continue with the ball.

The servant’s demons are crying.

Three

The princess tries to hide.

The prince has found his victim.

The guests drink merrily.

The servant knows he has lost.

Two

The princess tries to scream.

The prince is too powerful.

The guests hear only music.

The servant cries for his beloved.

One

The princess can’t get up.

The prince’s grip tightens.

The guests are dancing happily.

The servant was not the hero.

6

Black is not a color.

Black is the view when my eyes are closed.

Black is the sky that envelops me.

Black are his eyes, the only thing I can see.

White is not a color.

White is my dress on the sheets.

White are the stars. So bright, so distant, so numerous.

White is the snow that drifts and falls on my face and my hands.

White is my skin. It is cold. It is new.

Red is a color.

Red are the rose petals that once felt like snow.

Red are the stars as they burn further away.

Red is the sky, with both hate and desire.

Red is the stain on the dress and the sheets.

Red is my skin where it has been touched.

7

How to walk like royalty

Head up

You’ve won your battle

You’ve claimed what’s owed to you

This feeling of power is natural

You are victorious

Look straight

They needn’t see your eyes

You mustn’t show the cracks in the armor

The horror of last night is your own load

You are strong

Relax your shoulders

This is where you’re meant to be

They won’t know that you ran

You did what you had to and this is your new life

You are courageous

Stand erect

You accept defeat with grace

Your death should have been honored

It was all in the name of love

You are loyal

Smile politely

They look up to you

They don’t know who you are

They don’t see your truth

You are proud

Children of God

I'm fully aware not everyone is religious and so some people won't get the same feeling I got from these videos. But they seriously touched my heart and, whether or not you believe in God, I feel like they need to be heard. They were the perfect way to start off my morning. The first is a message to women of the world, reminding them that they do matter. The second is an acapella arrangement of a hymn done by a very talented gentleman.

 

And the link for the song

Reminders

I had a few ideas for what I might blog about today. A beautiful Interactive Theatre class with people who have become like family to me. A stroll with John that, for no good reason, put me in a good mood. My excitement for registration tonight. New, wonderful music in my life. To name a few. But then I watched this. And it's struck something in me. And I feel it has to be shared.

Reason 110: I know who I am, even if I forgot for a little while. But I'm coming back, I promise :)

 

After the video, click HERE

Always Look On The Bright Side

A facebook status:

 For those of you feeling like shit, here are some kind words that I would like to send upon you. The thing is, sometimes things suck, and sometimes things are great, it's hard to focus on the really great things in life when it's so easy to focus on the bad, and it sucks that things are that way. But though life has its moments and they may seem to last for a long time, these moments pass and bring together new moments that are happy and fun filled, and to really understand how even being able to chuckle in a disheartening situation and to know that for a brief moment something inside of you was happy in any sort of way I think is a very beautiful thing. Sometimes though the sad moments stack up and life gets to be very top heavy, well that's how life usually is but sometimes it's hard to notice how stacked up it all really is when you're too busy laughing it off or doing something you love, or being with someone you really care about. Everyone has something that is their solace of happiness, don't ever take it for granted and even if you do I hope that you realize how important that thing was and how even when it or he or she is gone that what really matters is that you had those moments where you were happy and that you were joyous and that it doesn't stop because certain people aren't in your life or you aren't experiencing any certain events but it stops when you want it to. Nobody has any dominion over your life unless you want them to, and though it is hard to get out of a situation that seems like it is so, there is always a way if you really dedicate yourself. I know that sometimes life those end up tragically for some, but I believe there is always something anyone can take from any tragedy, any moment. In short, life does suck sometimes but not all the time, not if you don't let it. You are powerful, beautiful, strong, determined, dedicated and passionate people, and some more words that I don't know because my vocabulary isn't high enough and because I would have to make up new words that wouldn't get put in the dictionary because, "DFHFLADSK;HGL" isn't a word, but if I could describe the world in an infinite amount of everything, I would. Yeah I'm stupid. Anyways the TL;DR be happy ya mingus. Great job!

Reason 72: Emmanuel Abi Fuentes, aka my #1 favorite person ever (without exaggeration), and his innate ability to make me smile and laugh and brighten up any room he walks into. If anyone in this world deserves happiness, it is this child.

Superwoman

Reason 33: Inspiration. My friends and I went around the whole building and posted sticky notes on the bathroom mirrors. They said things like "Have a great day" or "You're prettier when you smile" or "Someone loves you" or "It gets better". I hope someone is touched by it. I dunno. But it made me feel pretty great :)