10/30/16

I posted a video about my mental health and how it related to my faith. It was scary to film and endless to edit. But it's been well received and people have said lovely things. It makes me happy.

After a miserable week and a brutal weekend and just a really really hard morning, I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't want to see anybody. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to lie in my PJs and eat chocolate. And the ONLY person who could get me out of my rut was my best friend, over 400 miles away, who couldn't even give me a hug. I was so looking forward to Skyping him later that night. But we didn't get to Skype. Instead, he showed up right at my door, and I got a hug after all. And, even better, I got the news that he will be around for a couple of months, so I get lots more hugs for some time. There aren't enough words in any language to express my joy. Thank you for absolutely making my night.

Love. Pure Love.

Jaroll had a special today at church. He played his trumpet, as he so often does. But he dedicated it to us. The college kids. The four people who are leaving throughout this month. He thanked God for the impacts we had in his life. And one by one, he said how we made a difference. He thanked me for helping him find joy in every day. I was already crying. And then he got to his sisters, and it took absolutely everything for me not to let those tears run. Today was the wrong day to wear eye liner. He played three songs. The last was my mother's favorite hymn slash one of my favorites to sing. My heart was already so full.

When we left, Amaris (little girl about 9 years old) said "They want you to go to the classroom". Who is they and which classroom? I asked several people but eventually figured it out. Bryan taught class that day for the kids about six to eight. And they made cards for the four students who were heading to school. And all the itty bitties signed it. Everyone just wants to make me cry today.

We were making plans to decorate our classrooms for VBS in the afternoon and I had been at peace about it all week because KARLA WAS HELPING ME HALLELU! Nothing can go wrong with my sister by my side. All week she had helped me brainstorm how to make the room look awesome and she went shopping with me so we could have all the perfect materials. We were set. Except they told me she wasn't allowed to come. They said, "We told people from church that they couldn't come. It's only those directly involved with VBS. So she probably shouldn't come either". I panicked. My heart sank. I had so much joy and they shot it down with a couple of sentences. I called her and she of course was hurt and confused. But it didn't matter. She rushed over to my house to explain how everything should be done. She made some of the crafts before getting there. And she stayed IN THE CAR OUTSIDE THE CHURCH to help make more and even advise me should I need anything. My mom told her to leave because the situation made her uncomfortable, but Karla was there. Because of her love of God and of me, she wanted to help so badly. I am grateful for that lady every single day.

Humanity's Best

A client at work today, who spoke barely any English, came up to the register. She had about 27 dollars worth of merchandise with her. She got to about 14 something when she stopped me cause she had to check and see if she had enough. A line started to form. She only had 14 dollars. The man behind her, a complete stranger speaking only English, said "how much does she need?" I said "I'm not sure. We haven't even scanned everything." He grabbed the basket and put the rest of her things on the conveyor belt and said "go ahead, I've got it". She declined several times but he would not take no for an answer. She kept thanking him, and trying to at least pay me the fourteen she originally had. He wouldn't let her pay a cent, not even for a single bag. She could only repeat "God bless you" and he insisted it was no problem. The absolute amazement on her face was astounding. I keep thinking about it, almost crying. Some people in this world do things that seem so little but they amaze me.

Day 23: Create

The joy this has created in me.
The looks I can create with this now in my possession.

YAS.

A Kiss From John

We have something on our campus called "A Kiss Goodbye" where you pay like a dollar and send a Hershey's kiss with a little message to your friend. It's kind of adorable and helps cheer people up through the mess that is finals week. I got one today from my dear friend John. He spoils me that child. It just meant a lot 'cause he isn't exactly the type to do that for all his friends? He probably picked a few close gal pals. But it means a lot that he cared enough to think of me :)

Sidenote inspired by this post and the latest one on my private blog: Platonic friendships are kinda the best. Like, I've gotten a lot of comments from a lot of people. About John & myself and the idea of maybe one day in the future being together. Of course I get this about Jonathan a lot, too. Karla even mentioned Evan & Storm the other day. I'm used to these suggestions. I have a lot of guy friends, it happens. But I think I'm at the point in my life where I can honestly say, no, it's not a thing and it's never a thing. Life isn't one of those movies where people deny that there is chemistry for years and then they end up together. And to be honest, I could see that happening with a select few people. You, my dearest friend JuanJosé, for example. Obviously circumstances kind of prevent that from happening, but if distance weren't a factor and we were around each other more, who knows?! Or Fabrizio. I'm not his type at all and honestly I don't think I give him too much thought in a romantic sense, but he's also a catch and I'm fully aware of that, so who knows?! Who knows anything?! I sure don't. But I'll tell you one thing. Sometimes people do know. Sometimes people know for a fact. Like me & John and everyone I've listed. And if I end up being wrong, then you can laugh and do the whole "I told you so" thing. But until then, I think it's the job of those around me to support the relationships in my life, be they romantic or platonic.