3/4/17

• I received your letter. It's literally magic, how they arrive at the perfect times
• Charlotte and I had roadtrip fun as we went to McDaniel
• I was home. Just being there is so good.
• I saw Emily for the first time in ages!
• She formally asked Jess & I to be her bridesmaids, and I teared up
• Jess A. saw the completed Quote Wall scrapbook. She approved
• Hung out with my McDaniel Theatre squad and had a blast. Charlotte put faces to names.
• Chick-fil-a
• Saw two awesome shows directed by two people I adore and performed by people who make me so dang proud
• I got hugs. Lots and lots and lots of hugs

When Margie visited McDaniel she kept making comments about how much people love me there. I laughed it off, because we love everybody! That's what family does. But tonight, I just felt it. I was surrounded by it. I feel this incredible, undeniable connection to these people. The way they light up when they see I'm in the greenroom. Or the beautiful, heartwarming compliments I get all the time. Wow the things people said to me today. The warmth that they showed me. It is a feeling I can't describe. And I'm blessed. I'm so so so very blessed. God put these people and this family in my life for a reason. If I, somehow, was able to touch these many people's lives, I'm doing something right.

I don't know what's going on in my life. I don't know when I'm going to feel 100% okay again. I don't know what my next steps should be. But I know I have an abundance of love in my life. With God and with the angels He has sent me, I can do absolutely anything.

December Catch-up

Wow. Have I really not written on here in almost a month? Yeah, I've been busy. But that's unacceptable. Let's get so some smiles

• It's Christmas. Like I know it's not yet, but it's Christmas. And there's pretty lights everywhere and all these fun decorations and outfits and the radio has Christmas music and people are in such a cheerful mood. Yay holidays!
• We keep getting all this amazing food brought to the office. Blessings galore.
• I miss McDaniel and Dog Party and Holiday Cabaret and all those fun things. But it's nice to see everyone else enjoy them and have a whole new generation take part. Plus, Torreke and Veronica danced to Howl's Moving Castle score and I'm still not over it.
• I had my last therapy session on the 9th. I was told that I could always count on my therapist as a resource if I ever needed it, but that I'd gotten to a good place and made a lot of progress in a short time, so I don't need regularly scheduled appointments anymore. I've gotten my anxiety to a manageable place.
• I had a birthday! With lots of fun gifts! And delicious foods. But mostly, with my favorite people. Cutting a cake with my immediate family was honestly so nice. My niece always manages to put a big smile on my face. She even prayed for our dinner and for my birthday. I was a very happy aunt. And the next week, I had a bigger dinner with some close friends. Seeing them was such a treat, but seeing them all get along and become fast friends is truly the greatest gift I ever could have asked for.
• I had a lovely brunch with Jim Dyson, only my favorite alumn ever! We caught up and talked life after McDaniel and RWBY fan theories. He's such a good person and I had a blast. Can't go wrong with Silver Diner!
• I've been able to talk to Nick a lot more. The kid has a life, and finals affect everyone differently, so I am still sad that I didn't get to see him for my birthday, but I refuse to hold a grudge or let that get to my energy. I'm just glad we're talking somewhat regularly again. I'm very happy to have him in my life.
• Michael is such a great friend. He's just so supportive and kind and understanding. I am glad that we've always gotten along so well.
• Hairspray Live happened. It may not have been the greatest thing ever but I had fun and it brought back some sweet memories.
• Pentatonix had their own Christmas special oh my goodness I am way too proud of them.
• I got to see Eric! We had a mini-birthday celebration for the both of us. I need that boy in my life more, seriously, he's a gem and I miss him.
• Brookside Gardens twice. I never ever ever get tired of that place. It's so beautiful and magical and happy. It reminds me of childhood, and it's so fun to walk through, even if it is cold haha.
• Ugly sweater party at church! Even if I didn't win, everyone looked so cute and it's nice to be silly with the youth group every once in a while.
• Christmas party at work was awesome. Exhausting and kinda expensive on my end, haha. But awesome. People are still telling me how much they enjoyed the games, which is always nice to hear. And I just enjoyed some delicious food with people I am proud to call my co-workers. Everyone looked so good. And I got the most beautiful ornament from my boss' wife. There's no way on earth she knew how much I love angels. That's God at work right there.
• Have I mentioned how happy I am that you're here? I hope I have. Because I really am. I almost feel spoiled compared to the 8 years without you right by my side. I have no idea what I'll do when you leave. But I know it's not forever. And until then, I'm loving the mess out of having you in the states.
• There's more. There has to be more. It's been such a good time. I am so very blessed. Bad days happen and bumps get in the way but overall, I am grateful. I pray that the rest of the world be able to feel the love this holiday season. It's a scary time for so many out there, but none of us are alone. And there's always someone, somewhere willing to help in whatever way they can. So I'll do what I can to keep spreading that cheer. And to keep it going all the way into 2017!

It's Thanksgiving Weekend

To make long stories short: Getting out of work early is so very beautiful. Driving in daylight is not fun, but much better than the dark. Christmas music is fun. Food is so good. Family is amazing. My small ones make me happy. Days off from work are much needed. And I'm just blessed in a million ways. My Thanksgiving video is up on my channel. And, as grateful as I am for all the kind messages I received yesterday. I will never ever ever get over these texts from my mentees. It warms my heart to no end.

Blessings In Disguise

I don't want to go into much detail here honestly. I'll save that for the secret blog. But this week has been quite difficult. And I have a decent list of things that have gone wrong this week. But, as He continuously proves, God does everything for a reason. Every single thing. And as long as I pray and trust Him, I'll get the answers I need in the time I need. Sunday night has still left me pretty shaken, and my work pile is not as controlled as I'd like, but there's so much more going right. And one of the things I feared the most is now quickly becoming a blessing. Something I've been praying for over the course of several months now is becoming realized. Something I saw as a problem has now provided solutions that I am incredibly grateful for. God's timing is perfect. And I'm happy for this reminder of that fact.

Habit Forming Is Hard

So guess what I told myself I'd do every day in 2015? Write in this blog again.
Guess what I completely forgot to do. Write in this blog again. It's January 2nd. Proud of you, Sammy.

But forreal. I haven't written in ages. I barely do anymore. It's like I've started to take fun, exciting things for granted and thought they weren't worthy of celebration.

LIFE is worthy of celebration

Here's what I should've written yesterday:

I told myself that as soon as I got home from McDaniel for winter break, I would go on the elliptical for 30 minutes every day, and do 9 sets of 8 crunches. I have not missed a single day. Today I replaced the crunches with a 30 day challenge that's supposed to help your abs. Dunno if it'll work, but I'll hopefully get good at all the stuff! I was also on the elliptical for 35 minutes, and intend to keep that up until January 16, when I will make it 40. Baby steps.

I finished The First Phone Call From Heaven by Mitch Albom today. It was brilliant. I love him so much. There's a reason he's my favorite author. His way with words is incredible. And his books are great for everyone but especially people of faith.

I started the New Year with my sister and my niece. How absolutely lovely.

In 2014, I wrote a poem people ended up really liking. I went to the UK and saw some of the most amazing and breathtaking sights I've ever seen in my life. I met my hero, Carrie Hope Fletcher. Jared Leto won an Oscar. Daft Punk won several Grammys. I had the honor of co-stage managing in Alpha Psi Omega with an incredible person for an wonderful group. I fell deeper in love with Rooster Teeth as they released awesome content including a new season of my favorite show. I dropped my Communication Major and adopted the minor instead. I finally. Finally. FINALLY. Escaped a seven year unhealthy relationship. I was re-elected as Stage Manager. My niece turned one! I went to 4 different concerts, including the 1975 (easily my favorite concert), 30 Seconds to Mars and Anberlin (two of my favorite bands). 1975 was also where I fell in love with Bad Suns. Germany won the World Cup. Spent some quality time with some quality church friends, and strengthened those bonds immensely. Enjoyed Summer for the first time in SEVERAL years. I became a Peer Mentor and worked with people that continuously inspired me. I roomed with my best friend. I won a couple giveaways. I led a class and got loads of compliments. I started a youtube channel. 

Wow guys. Wow.

Most Wonderful

MY BABIES MAKE ME SO PROUD. All the proud mama syndrome. So my mentees have been working super hard on their presentations. I caught them rehearsing a couple of times. And their performances were today. They were. SO GOOD. They worked well as a group. The transitions were beautiful. Concepts were clear. They were effectively listening to one another. They used drama therapy techniques at appropriate times and it actually helped further the plot. They all did so much work and I'm just incredibly proud of their focus, dedication, and willingness to delve into new things.

ALSO. After my beautiful necklace from you and my sweet card from Jess, Craig anonymously gifted me the new Christmas album from Pentatonix "That's Christmas to Me" (but I'm smart and I figured it out). It's wonderful. And I just cannot get over how kind people have been to me as of late. Lord knows I've needed it. And it has not gone unnoticed. I'm so blessed. So so blessed.

Little Blessings

Giovanni Lorenzo was born into our family yesterday. (My cousin's baby). He came early! Only a week after his baby shower! But I love having all these little ones around. They're so wonderful.

We finished our Children's Show, Spooky House. It was a hit! Small audiences, to be expected, but the kiddies loved it! Greeting them all in character was my favorite part. I never broke! I could totally work at Disney World. Boo height requirements! But seriously. I had crazy fun.

Our Musical Theatre/Opera recital had a few snags. Definitely. We weren't perfect. I don't know how Kyle (our beautiful, wonderful, insane, CRAZY TALENTED teacher) felt about the whole thing. Rough parts were rough. But we did it. And we had so much fun. Wheels of a Dream was fantastic and I'm sure the audience was feeling all kinds of feels. And, after we performed, not only did Kyle thank me for being so helpful with props & costumes, but she told me I had a really nice voice. She actually said that, and I'm like reeling haha. I respect her so much, so for her to tell me that after only having worked with me a semester meant so much. She recommended I go forward with some singing lessons, and I told her how nervous I got about juries. She said "you'll have no problem with those". I'm beaming. AHH. Maybe no more opera. I dunno. Opera is hard and not my strength haha but I had fun slaying a serpent in a Supergirl costume (we did a song from Magic Flute, don't worry about the details).

I may or may not be Stage Mom again next year. I was nominated. Elections are next week. I dunno if I'll get it. But I want it documented that this has been one of the best parts of my whole college experience. Getting to know these new members has been so fulfilling. I love them so much and have such faith in their abilities and the amazing things they'll accomplish. I hope I was able to play some kind of part and help them in some way. I know they've helped me. They are my babies, all of them, and I want to thank them for letting me spend this time with them. It's been an honor and a blessing.

An Email from Ira

As I go to check my email because I just remembered Ira had emailed us last week about a paper due tomorrow that I had COMPLETELY forgotten existed:

Bad news, fun lovers. Your favorite professor has been called upon by Carrol
County to preform his civic duty and show up for Jury Duty. Therefore
cotemporary Theatre Class will not meet on Tues 18. This does not mean you have
the time off. There is much for you to do. Read "The Homecoming" if you have
not yet finished it yet. If you have finished it read "Buried Child". The best
advantage my absence will provide is the opportunity for you to polish your 1st
short paper (or begin it) since the due date will be moved to Thurs 20.
I'll tell you all about my adventures on the Jury when I return. Perhaps, we
can use my report as the plot for a contemporary play.
and so it goes...

Bless this man.

Will Come True

Reason 233: Today is a prep day. Today I pack. Today I clean. Today I get myself together. Because for the next 3 days I will be in Orlando, Florida, romping about Disney World with the beautiful Kowaleski family.

OMG THIS IS HAPPENING I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE IT. I'M SO EXCITED. This is amazing. So absolutely amazing. It's gonna be so fun. And absolutely beautiful. And DISNEY! AHHH. It's actually happening. In less than 24 hours I will be on a plane to the happiest place on earth! GAH! Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy. I can never stop counting my blessings. Than you to this absolutely wonderful family for being so kind to me all these years, and going above and beyond anything I ever dreamed possible. I'M GOING TO DISNEY!!!

 

PS: I'm not taking my laptop with me. Let's be honest, I'll be busy the whole time. SO no updates for a few days. But I promise when I come back I'll make up for it and tell you 3 days worth of awesome stories! That is, you know, if Storm doesn't get me killed with his "you have to ride all the rollercoasters" plan... pray for me. <3