GALA called

I GOT THE JOB

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February Finale

• Another sunny day
• Ciara came by the office today! With all the girls in tow. Layla said she liked me haha. I think she found it funny that I was small? But she asked me how old I was and I said I was the same age as her mom. I told her that her mom and I went to school together and she was shocked. She asked if we were friends, and I said of course! And that made her very happy. I got to meet baby Valentina for the first time. She's a few months old now, still so itty bitty. But she's a chunky nugget with big, squishable cheeks and I love her. It was nice to see Ciara again, and to have fun with everyone
• GALA emailed me. I actually got a response. I have a callback, so to speak! Haha they want to see me again. I'm a finalist for the position. Not hired, but a finalist. It's such a confidence boost, honestly. I truly had given up hope on it and thought I'd have to start job hunting again. But maybe not yet. Maybe God has ideas. And she was super sweet, too. Like, wow. This might actually happen
• Shopping for class on Sunday is complete! Hopefully my ideas end up working out.  Shoutout to Claudia who heard I was going to Michaels and was like nah, take my Joann's coupons. Love her so dang much
• CHARLOTTE GOT INTO GRAD SCHOOL! As if there was any doubt but like I'M SO THRILLED FOR HER IT'S WHAT SHE DESERVES MY WONDERFUL BEST FRANNN
• February is over. I made it. I'm alive. Like, not just hey I completed this challenge. But hey, God granted me life and I didn't squander it. I didn't let my demons get the best of me. I actually came out of the dark hole relatively okay. It's not like the clock strikes midnight and March means no more depression. BUT it means that around now is when my body usually starts to wake up again and I get a better hold of my emotions and plans and such. And, God willing, I get to keep moving forward

Sort of Self Care

It's been quite a day haha. A gloomy weekend and a long day. Nothing bad going on, but nothing going as planned, which can be a little strenuous haha. But you know what? Church was good. Kids are cute. Other people are making plans now. I bought a lot of things I needed. And now? I'm sitting in bed with Andes chocolates and the Black Panther soundtrack. So that's nice.

EDIT: Correction. I lied. EXO performed at the Olympics Closing Ceremony tonight. My boys were on global tv. MY PRECIOUS SONS. And they looked amazing and they did so well and wow I love them. I'm happy. My fangirl heart is happy. I'M SO PROUD

VBS 2017

The theme was Galactic Observers. I was in charge of arts & crafts. Two of my least favorite things: space and leading children.

I walked into this feeling inadequate and incapable and stressed beyond all belief. I felt like I spent too much and I made too much work for people and like the kids hated me and were so bored by my instructions. But today it all came together. My hardest projects were today. They took a lot of material and, when I tried it, I wasn't fully happy with the results. But WOW did it turn out way better than I anticipated. The kids had a really great time today. And their projects look AMAZING. I'm so proud and so impressed. I almost want to keep them for myself. I won't. But it just feels nice to know I did something right. I don't know if I'd do it again - I think there are other people better suited for it that will enhance the children's experiences overall. But I'm grateful for the opportunity and the trust. And for pretty colors in space.

Now, she finally relaxes

"You Better Blog About Me"

It's been a minute since I've written here. Let's play Catch Up. I'll keep this as close to chronological as I can, and we will see how that goes.

• No rehearsal feels weird, but it's nice to have some time to myself again
• Mother's Day plans went swimmingly and my mommy mostly seemed happy to have her grandkids in the house hehe
• I always love watching Eric come to our house. He misses his family lots
• Spending a full day with Michael was a ridiculous adventure. I am grateful for his friendship. I am also grateful for mediocre cheesecakes. And I'm glad I could fulfill my purpose and introduce one more person to the perfection of The Princess & the Frog
• Cristina had a cute little picnic at her school which was a lot of fun, and I was greatly amused by the folksy band they had playing there
• I hit the one year mark. I honestly was surprisingly okay? The day of the kid's graduation was a lot harder than the one year "anniversary" or whatever you want to call it. Either way. It happened. The "experts" tell me the hard part is over now. Thank God, I'm over this nonsense haha
• I went to a Burlesque show with Charlotte. We were there to support Emma & Dale. It was a fun time and we got sushi and I enjoyed the evening with a cool person
• I went to McDaniel graduation. I won't go into details 'cause I'm enough of an emotional mess about this school and these people every other day. It was nice. Goodbyes are hard
• I went on a date. And it was mediocre. But I was glad I tried. And then we saw Everything Everything which I absolutely adored and thought was so well done and it reminded me that I cannot settle for who I date because WOW do I need someone who gets me and puts butterflies in my tummy and helps me see the world in a new light. Like. This movie was so good. And I don't expect my life to be a movie. But I'm allowed some expectations
• My Tio Jhonny was here from El Salvador and we got to have dinner with him one evening. He finally met my nephew, and we had a good time catching up
• Michael & Lindsay Jones had their baby. Her name is Iris and she's a little nugget and the internet exploded and Michael is already THAT dad. He's going to drive some people freaking insane. I love it
• I had dinner with my old friend Alex yesterday. I got to meet his girlfriend, catch up with his wonderful mommy, and see his pup again! I literally love that dog so much. I also saw his brother, and was slightly amused by how much he liked my flower crown (shout out to Mandy, I got compliments all day). We got to really talk about our lives for the first time in ages, which was awesome. And he was a gem and paid for me. He made me feel really special, especially because he made it a point to tell me that he seriously felt sorry that we weren't in contact too much during college, and he missed me. It's always nice to hear that, after being the one who constantly hung onto other people and begged them to stay in her life, other people want to make the effort to keep me around. When he dropped me off at home, he yelled the title of this post out his window
• A little over two months until Canada. I'm beyond ready

Harveys 2017

The new members of Alpha Psi omega, led by Mandy, performed last night. Their parodies were very cute. Their original skit was rather clever, and did a good job of keeping up the "complaining about clues" trend that the past few years have loved so much. Their song was great. Out of this world. I am actually so in love with it. I stand by the opinion that no class has had as great a song as the Chi class' Disney medley. But WOW this is such a close second. It was so good and very sweet and lots of fun and emotional and I'M SO IMPRESSED. I can't express it well enough. Their creativity was beyond measure and their hard work is evident throughout the whole performance. They seem like great additions to our theatre family. And Mandy better know she played a major part in getting them to where they are. She killed the game. And these kids will love their mom forever.

The seniors panicked about their own performance, but it was honestly an amazing time. The three from the Chi class taught everyone else the Disney medley. I'm so happy I was next to my co-stage mama Jess and we could sing along with them while they slayed it. The memories flooded back and the legacy lived on. I could not be prouder of these seniors, and how far they've come. I wasn't surprised that I remembered all the words to the Disney medley, but when the Psi class started singing THEIR parody of Never Gonna Give You Up from 2015, I screamed with excitement and somehow managed to remember all those words, too. My babies grew up, and getting those blasts from the past pulled my heartstrings. Watching them re-do all their shows, FROM WAY BACK IN NAJEE'S TIME, that was something special. They were hilarious and it absolutely killed me how spot on they were. And their final song. So sweet. So genuine. So perfect. I am actually aching, thinking that after last night, I may never see some of these people again. It's a definite possibility and it shatters me into pieces. I love them all so much. There's a million things I feel like I haven't said yet. But I'm proud. They're moving on to much better things. And wherever they end up, they better know I love them and I'm cheering them on and I'll always support them however I can. It was an HONOR to bring these members into the organization. To help give them a family. There were so many great moments in their performance and I don't know if I'll ever stop talking about it. I wish I had a more worthy goodbye for them. But that's me. I'm an emotional time bomb and they've probably had enough of my sappiness.

I cannot believe. I performed last night. I had dreams about being on stage at Harveys. Never did I think it'd happen. I walked into this room SO READY to just watch. I had been a part of Harveys, either performing or hosting, for all four years. Not once did I get to just sit and watch! I was so happy I could just enjoy it with no stress! But when the seniors needed to stall for time, IRA (I cannot believe. I just cannot.) decided to say we should do Christmas Carol. And Joshy was next to him, and Ira said hey you're both here. And enough people heard that somehow, I heard my name and got on a stage. IT FELT WRONG because I'd already said my goodbyes to that stage and I didn't want to take away from anyone else's special night. But the seniors seemed grateful and the audience had fun. I got to perform with my Twin again, which is my favorite thing in the world. I'm surprised we remembered as much as we did. And now the new members know about our insanity. Crazy. Absolutely crazy. I guess we can't ever really say goodbye to this place.

I dressed up. I saw people I love. Everybody slayed. I got nostalgic. I feel a lot of emotions about a lot of parts for a lot of different reasons. But overall, Harveys was something special. I don't ever want to forget last night.

3/4/17

• I received your letter. It's literally magic, how they arrive at the perfect times
• Charlotte and I had roadtrip fun as we went to McDaniel
• I was home. Just being there is so good.
• I saw Emily for the first time in ages!
• She formally asked Jess & I to be her bridesmaids, and I teared up
• Jess A. saw the completed Quote Wall scrapbook. She approved
• Hung out with my McDaniel Theatre squad and had a blast. Charlotte put faces to names.
• Chick-fil-a
• Saw two awesome shows directed by two people I adore and performed by people who make me so dang proud
• I got hugs. Lots and lots and lots of hugs

When Margie visited McDaniel she kept making comments about how much people love me there. I laughed it off, because we love everybody! That's what family does. But tonight, I just felt it. I was surrounded by it. I feel this incredible, undeniable connection to these people. The way they light up when they see I'm in the greenroom. Or the beautiful, heartwarming compliments I get all the time. Wow the things people said to me today. The warmth that they showed me. It is a feeling I can't describe. And I'm blessed. I'm so so so very blessed. God put these people and this family in my life for a reason. If I, somehow, was able to touch these many people's lives, I'm doing something right.

I don't know what's going on in my life. I don't know when I'm going to feel 100% okay again. I don't know what my next steps should be. But I know I have an abundance of love in my life. With God and with the angels He has sent me, I can do absolutely anything.

Week of Elections & Gratitude

I'm grateful for Saturday, and all the fun people it brought. I got to spend the day with the lovely Jess Mies and WOW had I missed her. It's always good to see her and share life with her. Her presence brings me joy. And then you joined the fun! It's such a good feeling to have my two best friends in the whole world together. There was a whole lot of love surrounding me that afternoon and it felt great. Add in good food and I'm set! And that evening was the Bad Suns concert which was amazing. They're so good live. Jess is such a great concert buddy cause she and I can just jam to literally anything. It was also cool seeing Kimberly & Camillo! Talk about all the best friends haha. Catching up with her is always so lovely, and I'm glad to see her brother is doing well, too! Especially since I hadn't seen him since I was like 10 and still a baby.

I'm grateful for Tuesday. I got to vote in my very first election. It may not have turned out how I wanted, but I still voted! I did my part. It was really cool actually. I feel grateful for the chance to do it. Plus it was nice to see Weller Road in its new form. I hadn't been in there since I graduated in 2005! And now I'm a voting adult. Crazy.

I'm grateful for Wednesday and the spur of the moment concert. The 1975 never ceases to amaze me. On top of amazing music, the aesthetic is absolutely to die for. It was a much welcomed distraction from the insanity of the day. I cannot thank you enough for persuading me to go. I'm glad we could jam together haha. I think Matty Healy's words will be held close to my heart for a very long time. I expected him to talk about the election, and I know that he can be a smartass so I was ready for some jokes and big talk. But he took it so seriously. I honestly believed what he said. To hear those words from someone who isn't even from here, RIGHT after the fact, and IN the DMV. I can't tell you what it means to me.

I'm grateful for Thursday, and for McDaniel Madrigals. Our beautiful little choir group performed at the Kennedy Center last night. They did so so well and they looked so good. And IT'S THE KENNEDY CENTER. I'm endlessly proud of them, especially of all my Alpha Psi babies. Seeing them on my newsfeed and watching all the alumn comment on the stream was the highlight of my day.

Elena of Avalor

Karla sent me a picture of the ceremony from Instagram during work today. Princess Elena of Avalor, Disney's first Latin princess, has been inducted into the Official Disney Princess Court. We have our first Hispanic princess.

I cried. I actually cried when I saw the picture at work. I know that probably sounds ridiculous. But I don't care. I spent SO. MANY. YEARS. Swearing up and down that there would never be a Hispanic princess. I said that Latin Americans didn't have royalty like that and so Disney may never see a purpose in making one up. At the very least, I doubted it would happen in my lifetime. But wow. I was wrong. I've never been so happy to be wrong.

I cannot express what this means to me or how important this is for young Latinas everywhere. These are such happy tears I'm shedding. Little girls will see a beautiful female leader who speaks their language and has an abuelo and an abuela just like they do. I can't believe this is real. It's happened. And I could not be more proud. I'm just going to cry forever, and I do not care. This is real magic.

Growing Artists

I love. Love love love. Seeing people grow in their craft. Especially as itty bitties. And then see just how far they truly come. Seeing them reach their goals and accomplish their dreams, and STILL strive for more, not because of greed or pride but simply because of a love for what they do. It makes me super proud and just honored to be able to watch the journey.

Day 18: Balance

The art of mixing fake drinks for a college production is far from glamorous.

Big Little Date!

Unintentional, actually, but it all worked. My Little is flawless and I enjoy her company oh so much. Mariah made TONS of pita bread for Mandy which is really cool. Slash impressive. And Mandy and I watched more My Little Pony! She has all of Season 5 to watch now, and this season has some of the best episodes (IMHO), so she's in for a treat. I also gave her the first 17 volumes of Fruits Basket. As I type this, she is starting volume 2. It is, as you may remember, one of my FAVORITE series of all time and I really think she will enjoy it. Maybe get too attached, if she's anything like me, 'cause I was NOT ready to leave this world once I finished the books. But it'll give her warm fuzzies, and teach some really important lessons. I'm glad she's willing to give it a try, and seems to like it. Cookies were made. I finished One Day. Happy times all around.

And as a side note RWBY WRECKED MY LIFE TODAY so this was much needed

I also saw Torreke as The Nutcracker today and the whole experience was so beyond beautiful. I am so immensely proud of my mentee and his incredible gift. And I'm so happy for him because his mommy finally got to see him perform while in Maryland :) (They are from Georgia, so this was quite a trip for her, but she said it was more than worth it).

Efficient Shopping

Jess A. and I needed to get some serious shopping done before this weekend and oh man did we get it done. Jess was able to buy her spray paint for about 10 bucks, and TONS of decorations for the Alpha Psi board for less than 20! We already have hella stuff for homecoming, thanks to everyone's contributions. And I spent just under 5 dollars on paint for the pumpkin painting event! So I had 45 dollars for pumpkins. We bought 35. I'm so pumped. I'm so proud! Yay efficiency!

8-17-15

My little sis is off to college! Idalis, a girl from church who I grew up with and basically love like family, went to Towson. Her orientation has started. She makes me proud beyond words, and she's an incredible woman. I'm lucky to know her. And now she's off to change the world. But first, she's gonna change a little. Because that's what college does. I know the whole experience will be good for her. I'm just so beyond excited. I can't wait to hear all the wonderful stories :)

Beautiful Souls

So a couple of work things that make me super happy, despite mother constantly hovering over me as if I don't know how to behave in a work environment. I love having young people around. That feels weird and old of me to say. But the last time I was working at this store, I was the only person in her teens or near her twenties. It sucked feeling so formal all the time. I felt like a baby, not an employee. But now I have Kevin (my godsister Ariel's little brother) who is like 18 or 19 now. And a guy named Rony (Roni? Ronnie? Ronny? Must ask). Who is probably like 16, and goes to Blair. He doesn't talk to me as much, but he is really chill. It's just NICE to have those people and feel like I can be goofy without my only "peers" going "aww look how cute she is". Joke WITH me, people! Also, I was hired to do a very specific job, but I still find myself helping the cashiers do some of their stuff (as long as it's not behind the register. I remember the struggle. I got their backs). And my boss told me today how she is so happy with me and that I am helping out because she's been asking for all this stuff to be done for MONTHS and I did more work in one day. That felt awesome.

These two videos are very important to me.

Both for very different reasons.

(R.I.P Monty Oum. You make me so proud)

Heroes Like Hercules

(Honey you mean HUNKules)

Hero (according to dictionary.com): noun. 1. a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. 2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.

My heroes

1. My sister who fights for what she believes in, doesn't conform to the ideas of others, takes on so much but gets it all done, and is a great person/sister/mother.
2. Mr. Rodgers who saw that there was no positivity in the television of his time and thought there should be a show that inspired people to be good and kind, so he made one. And rather than adapt a persona, he was a genuinely caring soul who was fascinated by the world around him and loved absolutely everyone, showing kindness to families all over the country.
3. Walt Disney, not a man free of his bad points mind you. But someone who went through a hard childhood and serious depression issues, and still dedicated his life to bringing joy and magic to others. Not only did he succeed, but that happiness touched people all over the globe for numerous generations.
4. Hayao Miyazaki who has a gift for storytelling. A true visionary, he sought to inspire the world to believe in purity, bravery, love, and magic. Furthermore, he inspired many young girls that they could be the heroes of their own stories.
5. Lin-Manuel Miranda who created In the Heights after many years of study and writing to perfect his craft. He pursued his dream in the arts, which many people, especially people of color, struggle to do, and he worked until he made it, and continues to create and inspire. For a long time, West Side Story was the only representation Latin Americans had on Broadway. Not that it's bad, it's my favorite show. But it's still only a show about a gang written by a Jew. For the first time, Miranda took the Hispanic voice and made it come to life with our stories, our language, and our music. He "made a hat where there never was a hat. It's a Latin hat at that".
6. Carrie Hope Fletcher who makes youtube videos. She loves so passionately. Her childlike spirit and love for Disney is incredible. She works and works to accomplish her dreams, and has been playing her dream role of Eponine in Les Miserables for over two years now after wishing on stars for 12, among other great roles, and has released her first book, reaching number one non-fiction for several weeks. Despite her hardships, she strives to be a source of light and optimism for herself and those around her. She fell in love with an abusive, disgusting person who did not deserve her, and she dared to want better for herself. She fought and fought to rid herself of this person and, after much struggling, she was able to kick him out of her life for good. She could now prioritize her mental health and her emotions, which was a huge inspiration to me at a time when I needed to do the same.

All these people are my heroes. And not a single one had to go to a different country carrying a gun in order to change my life. The happy news is that Carrie posted this today on her blog. And it's so simple and sweet, but it means the world. I could rave for hours about how much I admire her. I aspire to be like her. She truly is a brilliant light and I cannot express enough how glad I am to see that she is shining once again. There is no one more deserving. 

Baptism

We had seven people get baptized in church today. It was honestly so beautiful. Most of them were kids about 11 or 12. It's so important for a good foundation to start young. I'm so proud of their decision to let God into their hearts and their lives. I hope they can continue on this path. One kid, Luis Portillo, who is 14, I have known since the day he was born. It blows my mind. I almost cried. It's just such a big step. The heavens are rejoicing today :D

MAY FIRST IS EVERYTHING

Harvey's happened. The big culminating theatre event of the year happened. And everyone looked SO GOOD! UGH! I love when people dress up. And now we can all kinda chill out. We still have Children's Show & Voting, but this is a celebration of how far we have come in a year as well as all the new things to come for next year. I'm so happy. The Littles did an AMAZING job. I knew the script and I was still rolling in laughter. I am so glad the cast liked it. And paper plates were as fun to present as they were to make. Mine almost made me cry cause it was beautiful. But I digress. I had a blast and could not ask for a better job. I love every single one of these babies and nothing makes me happier than seeing them up on that stage. They earned every bit of their applause.

Also. JESS & I GOT INTO CHOICES! Look for the truest of true soul mates on your McDaniel stage this August. We're gonna have the best freaking time EVER.

Second Hand Pride

Jess Mies auditioned for Choices yesterday. My dear roommate is doing theatre things. Today, she was very nervous about her callback interview. However, she did wonderfully. It will be a bit before we find out whether or not she (or I) made it, but it's a big step! She got over that initial audition fear. And now we just wait. I'm so happy for her. And to be honest, I think she will be pleasantly surprised with herself. YAY JESS! A theatre kid at heart. And now, for realsies <3

Speak of Hope

I saw a show today called Speak of Hope. It was directed by my friend Emily Wendler as her senior capstone, and it was an original piece created by her and her lovely/amazingly talented cast: Bryan Bowen, Torreke Evans, Nia Gipson, Stephanie Golub, Brandon Richards, Jennifer Shillingburg, Megan Smith, Alex Tolle, and John Wontrop. It was a show about depression, self harm, and suicide. And it was hard. It was emotional. It was honest. It was real. And it was so so important. There were so many images and honest words that just screamed at me. There were also several moments that reminded me that no one is alone. It tackled bullying, mental illness as a health issue, and homophobia. It's one of the most important shows I've seen in a very long time. And I am so proud of every single member that contributed something to this work of art. I'm so very proud to be in a place where this message is spoken, and where it is heard. Today, we raised $265 for donations that will be going to The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and The Trevor Project, not including those sent through the gofundme page. I am unable to fully express what my heart feels right now.

On a less serious note. Alex's friend is here to see the show, and she apparently saw my Red vs Blue keychain and got very excited, so we chatted about our favorite show for quite a bit.

Proud... Whatever... Syndrome

I can't say Proud Momma Syndrome because I am in no way, shape, or form the mother of these people. I'm also younger than literally everyone in the company. But Rooster Teeth just makes me happy. And I love seeing them succeed and slowly change the world :)

It's a half hour video, so you don't have to watch. Meanwhile I had it on in the background like 3 times today. SO PROUD.